What the heck is my cat thinking?

What the heck is my cat thinking?

Cats, unlike dogs, keep their feelings to themselves (unless they're pissed). So, this makes understanding your cat's emotions a little challenging. I mean, other than food, they don't really seem to want very much else. The world of a cat is strictly on their terms - they'll come and sit on your lap when they want to (and usually when you need to pee). And those little bodies are capable of hogging an entire bed - so much that you'll be perched on the edge of the mattress with no covers. Sure, cats are hard work emotionally but they're easier pets to own than dogs that seem to need you every second of the day. But when your cat stares at you, what are they thinking? When they stare at the wall, what are they thinking? When they roll around the floor after catnip, what are they thinking? And that's what this fun quiz is all about - deciphering the mysterious language of cats!

Your cat is lying on their back with their legs in the air. It's OK to pet their stomach, right?

Your cat is slowly blinking at you. What the heck is that all about?

Your cat's ears are twitching. What are they doing?

Your cat's eyes are wide open and they're not blinking. Are they malfunctioning?

Your cat just knocked a pot off the table and just watched it fall. Why?

Your cat is licking you. Why?

My cat is sitting in a teeny tiny box. What the heck is wrong with it?

You cat is staring out the window and making a totally weird chattering noise. What are they thinking?

My cat walks with its tail in the air. What does this mean?

Your cat appears to be going bezerk in another room, bolting around the house. What are they doing?

Your cat is lying down with their paws tucked neatly beneath them. Why?

Your cat is twitching their tail. Why?

Kitty seems to prefer drinking from a dripping faucet even though you put out clean water for them. Why?

Your cat is rolling around on the floor. What's wrong with them.

Your cat is meowing. What are they doing?

You're playing with your cat and they lightly bite you. What are they telling you.

You get home and your cat ran off. Why aren't they happy to see you?

Your cat just brought in a slightly mutilated dead bird. What are they telling you?

Your cat has been staring at you for, like, an hour. What on earth are they doing?

Your cat's ears are pointed upright. Why?

Your cat is purring. Why?

Your cat has gone rigid with their tail stuck out straight and stiff. What's wrong?

Your cat appears to want a staring contest. What shouldn't you do?

Your cat is scratching the furniture. Why?

Your cat just peed outside of the litter box. What are they telling you?

Your cat is kneading into your lap or chest. Why????!

Why does your cat always climb on top of the wardrobe?

Your cat is hissing and spitting. What do they want?

Your cat is pacing. Why?

You're typing an important email and kitty comes and plonks themselves down on the keyboard. What do they want?

What is your cat trying to tell you when they rub their head on your legs?

Your cat is wagging its tail at you. What are they telling you?

Your cat's sitting in another room alone. What are they telling you?

My cat always orients their body away from me. Why?

Your cat is licking their butthole in front of your guests. What on earth are they doing?

What the heck is my cat thinking?

Your score:

You got 0 correct out of 20!

Mike Heath

Mike has an MA in Creative Writing and is a full-time copywriter, yoga teacher, and playwright. His copywriting has taken him to dizzy heights: writing in every conceivable niche from facts about carpet slippers to portents about artificial intelligence and how to overcome plantar fasciitis (look it up) to fabulous home decor. Mike is a UK-based playwright whose work has been performed all around the world (as long as you count the UK and Western Australia). His work is available on Amazon, and you can listen to his podcast where he talks about playwriting with his sarcastic co-presenter. He runs the WriteForTheStage courses and you can follow him on @Write4TheStage (Twitter) and @_mike_heath_ on Instagram.