What Kind of Cat Are You, Then?

Could you imagine the internet without cats? Love them or hate them (what the hell's wrong with you!!!), cats are everywhere online from cute videos of adorable kittens tarting it up for their owners to miscalculated jumps and running into patio doors. Yes, indeed - without cats, our lives would be all the poorer.

But what type of cat are you? Are you fearsome and proud like a lion, or aggressive and inhospitable like a snow leopard? Maybe you're lithe and fast like a cheetah? Or lazy and hedonistic like a domestic cat?

Well, you're in the right place to find out. Our fun quiz will help determine which of the cats, big or small, most closely represents your spirit animal.

By Mike Heath Issue with this quiz?

Qusetion: 1 of 30

What's the first thing you do in the morning?

Lick myself clean.

Check my socials.

Smoke a doobie.

Go back to sleep.

Qusetion: 2 of 30

How would your friends describe you?

Strong. Powerful. A leader.

Terrifying. Tricksy. Just the way I like it!

There's not enough hours in the day to worry about what other people think!

Cute. Funny. Lazy.

Qusetion: 3 of 30

What is your highest level of education?

PhD. I'm a doctor, innit.

I got a Masters.

College degree.

I couldn't really see the point in education.

Qusetion: 4 of 30

What is your ideal morning?

Lounging around, then out hunting.

Hunt, eat, relax.

Up at the crack of dawn, feed the kids, bit of window shopping, then lunch.

Sleep, get fed, sleep a bit more.

Qusetion: 5 of 30

How precise are you?

I can be precise when I want to be.

I'm a master planner. My plans never fail.

You can't be this efficient and not be precise!!!

Whatever.

Qusetion: 6 of 30

What are you listening to at the moment?

Katy Perry.

Snow Patrol.

Anything EDM.

A bit of gentle jazz.

Qusetion: 7 of 30

What did your yearbook say about you?

Most likely to become a king.

Most likely to get to the head of industry.

Most likely to get things done!

Most likely to sleep my way through life.

Qusetion: 8 of 30

How many meals a day is right for you?

I eat about twice a week. But I like a BIG meal!

I eat once a week, but I take my time!

I eat every other day, unless I'm looking after the kids, and then I'll eat every day.

The whole day is one long meal time for me!!!

Qusetion: 9 of 30

Which would be your ideal holiday destination?

Africa.

Somewhere in Asia.

Somewhere deserty.

I'd rather stay at home.

Qusetion: 10 of 30

Which form of relaxation do you most favor?

I'm a big fan of lounging and sleeping. For up to 21 hours a day if I can!

I like a good stretch. But ultimately, you gotta love lying around, looking gorgeous and cool. For 18 hours a day!

I love nothing more than a burst of energetic running, then spending at least half the day lounging around, looking a little sinister.

Eating. Then sleeping. Sometimes I'll chase a little creature and drop it on the door mat.

Qusetion: 11 of 30

Which Lion King are you most like?

Mufasa.

Scar.

Timon

Simba.

Qusetion: 12 of 30

What's your approach to family?

I'm the king of the castle.

I'm happier on my own.

My family are everything.

I was rejected as a kitten. Now I live with humans.

Qusetion: 13 of 30

What's your dating profile headline?

If you want strong, come along.

Charm gets your everywhere.

Send me a DM now!!!

Leave me alone.

Qusetion: 14 of 30

What is your motto for life?

Be strong. All day long.

Life is for the taking. (Just get there first!)

Early to bed, early to rise. Time waits for no one.

I'm easy. Like a Sunday morning.

Qusetion: 15 of 30

How do you prefer your steak?

Alive.

Medium rate.

Running away from me. I live for the chase.

Served to me from a can.

Qusetion: 16 of 30

How much is too much?

I just have what I need.

I'll have what you're having.

I like to have nice things, sure. What's wrong with that?

There's no such thing as too much.

Qusetion: 17 of 30

What is your most attractive trait?

I'm strong.

I'm intelligent.

I'm charming.

I'm cute.

Qusetion: 18 of 30

What is your favorite dessert?

I don't really do sweet things.

I'd eat a second goat?

I'm more savoury - how about a chicken?

Anything from a packet.

Qusetion: 19 of 30

What's your favorite horror movie?

Roar.

The Snowman

Final Destination.

Pet Sematary.

Qusetion: 20 of 30

How patient are you?

I'm happy to wait for you to climb into my jaws.

Pretty patient. I've never eaten a human, for example!

I can wait. But I'd prefer not to.

I'm super chilled. You can have a party around me, and I'll remain asleep. :)

Qusetion: 21 of 30

You're out for a romantic meal. What's your ideal meal?

Oooh, I love a zebra or wildebeest. Don't bother cooking it.

Something lamby or goaty always goes down well! Yum!!!

I'm quite happy with a gazelle. But I'd even eat a bird if I was hungry.

Just crack me open a tin of something fishy!!!

Qusetion: 22 of 30

What type of venue would you choose for a first date?

Somewhere out in the open.

Somewhere cave-like.

A night club.

I'd rather sit on the couch and sleep, to be honest.

Qusetion: 23 of 30

What's your favorite item of clothing?

My head scarf.

My dark sunglasses.

My training shoes.

My leisurewear.

Qusetion: 24 of 30

What's your ideal night out.

Opera. Then cocktails. Maybe a little dancing?

A little burglary. Maybe followed by a rather stylish bank heist.

A light meal with friends, then dancing the night away.

Netflix and chill.

Qusetion: 25 of 30

Which superhero most closely defines you?

Iron Man

The Joker

Quicksilver

Deadpool

Qusetion: 26 of 30

What's your ideal profession?

King.

Spy.

Fitness instructor.

Food taster.

Qusetion: 27 of 30

How forgetful are you?

I always remember eventually.

I NEVER forget. I never forgive.

Quite forgetful. I'm a busy person, for heck's sake!

What was the question again?

Qusetion: 28 of 30

What do you imagine people think when they first meet you?

Wow. What a whopper!

Well, hello! Who have we here, then?

I'm too keen to get to the bar to worry about what people are thinking.

They want to stroke me!

Qusetion: 29 of 30

What is your defining feature.

My hair. Long and flowing like a mane.

My eyes. I miss nothing.

My legs. Powerful, lithe, ready for action at the drop of a hat.

My cuteness.

Qusetion: 30 of 30

What's your favored approach to wooing a partner?

Allow them to come to me.

Catch them. Play with them. Eat them.

I just turn on the charm. They're putty in my hands.

It typically relies on me lying around the floor with my legs in the air... Does that sound bad?

End Quiz & See Results

Mike Heath

Mike has an MA in Creative Writing and is a full-time copywriter, yoga teacher, and playwright. His copywriting has taken him to dizzy heights: writing in every conceivable niche from facts about carpet slippers to portents about artificial intelligence and how to overcome plantar fasciitis (look it up) to fabulous home decor. Mike is a UK-based playwright whose work has been performed all around the world (as long as you count the UK and Western Australia). His work is available on Amazon, and you can listen to his podcast where he talks about playwriting with his sarcastic co-presenter. He runs the WriteForTheStage courses and you can follow him on @Write4TheStage (Twitter) and @_mike_heath_ on Instagram.