Are you a randy rabbit?

Rabbits. Those bouncy little cuties. They love nothing more than to bound joyfully through the hills. They build labyrinthine warrens that grow with the family. And while we love fluffy bunnies for their twitchy button noses and long, floppy ears, rabbits are notorious for one particular act that ensures their warrens grow from tiny little underground villages into expansive subterranean towns.

People are sometimes accused of "breeding like rabbits", but is that possible? A doe can bear twenty offspring a year, and baby bunnies are fertile after four months. So, that's quite a feat!

This quiz gauges your libido! Do you breed like a rabbit, or are you more pensive like a panda? Find out with our fun quiz!!!

By Mike Heath Issue with this quiz?

Qusetion: 1 of 30

What is your ideal job?

Gigolo.

Front Of House at a Michelin-starred restaurant.

Something in Public Relations.

Anything as long as I can work from home.

Qusetion: 2 of 30

If you were a pie, what would be your filling?

Something hot, steamy, and delicious like steak.

Something naughty but nice like spicy apple.

Something reliable like cheese and potato.

Something lardy like lard and butter.

Qusetion: 3 of 30

Which of the following is your ideal social network?

Tinder.

Instagram.

TikTok

I hate social media.

Qusetion: 4 of 30

What's your first morning thought?

I need to get off.

I need to get up.

I need to make breakfast.

I need to dump them.

Qusetion: 5 of 30

What was your favorite book at high school?

Judy Blume's Forever.

Judy Blume's Wifey.

The Catcher in the Rye.

2001 - A Space Odyssey.

Qusetion: 6 of 30

What's your favorite tipple?

A super-alcoholic cocktail.

Gin & tonic.

Beer.

Dr Pepper.

Qusetion: 7 of 30

What is your ideal dessert?

Sex.

Ice cream.

A fruity pie.

I prefer a cheese board.

Qusetion: 8 of 30

What's your favorite movie?

9 1/2 Weeks.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Lady Chatterley's Lover.

Gravity.

Qusetion: 9 of 30

How do you prefer your steak?

Bloody.

Medium rare.

Well done.

Incinerated.

Qusetion: 10 of 30

What is your ideal holiday destination?

Magaluf.

Rome.

Prague.

Oh God! Do I have to leave my couch?

Qusetion: 11 of 30

Who in fiction is your ideal partner?

Jessica Rabbit.

John Wick.

Bridget Jones.

I don't want a partner! How many times?

Qusetion: 12 of 30

You're on the bus and you spot a potential suitor. What do you do?

I sit right next to them.

I sit nearby.

I sit across the other side of the bus, so I can see them.

I move onto the top deck, getting as far as possible away from them.

Qusetion: 13 of 30

How long does it take you to get ready for a night out?

Four hours.

An hour.

Twenty minutes.

I prefer to stay at home.

Qusetion: 14 of 30

What is your most appealing feature?

My bod.

My brain.

My striking conversation.

My sofa.

Qusetion: 15 of 30

What's your headline on your dating profile?

Come and get it!

Looking for fun!

Looking for love!

I don't bother with goddam dating apps!!!

Qusetion: 16 of 30

How many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime?

More than 100.

Around 50.

Zero!!!!

Qusetion: 17 of 30

Which deadly sin most closely defines your personality?

Lust.

Greed.

Envy

Sloth.

Qusetion: 18 of 30

You're on a night out, and your friend looks fabulous. What do you do?

Tell them they look terrible. You don't need the competition.

Tell them they look fantastic. They're gonna be a great wingman/woman.

Up my own game and change my outfit.

Feel relieved that eyes will be on them all night.

Qusetion: 19 of 30

What's the first part of the body you look at when you meet a new person.

Boobs/groin.

The bum.

Their eyes.

I try not to look at them.

Qusetion: 20 of 30

How would you describe yourself?

Charming. Funny. Modest.

Good fun to be around.

Lively. Smiley.

Quiet. Enjoys "me" time.

Qusetion: 21 of 30

What did your yearbook say about you?

Most likely to become a teenage parent.

Most likely to do well in business.

Most likely to charm your way to the top.

Most likely to die lonely.

Qusetion: 22 of 30

Which book character most closely defines you?

James Bond.

Catwoman.

Austin Powers.

Gollum.

Qusetion: 23 of 30

Who is your favorite music act?

Cardi B.

Britney Spears.

Coldplay.

The Killers.

Qusetion: 24 of 30

What is your spirit animal?

Rabbit.

Dolphin.

Cat.

Panda.

Qusetion: 25 of 30

Which date is acceptable for the first jump?

First (and typically only) date.

Second or third.

Fifth.

I don't want to date anyone. Leave me alone.

Qusetion: 26 of 30

What bores you?

People who ghost you.

Getting dumped.

The world is endlessly interesting.

Everything.

Qusetion: 27 of 30

What's your favorite book series?

Fifty Shades.

Bridgerton.

The YOU collection.

Harry Potter.

Qusetion: 28 of 30

How would you describe your body?

Fit as f**k.

In good shape.

OK.

Stop looking at me!!!!

Qusetion: 29 of 30

What's your approach to wooing a potential partner?

Go straight for the jugular. Turn a few tricks, charm the pants off them.

Buy them a drink. See where things go.

I wait till they speak to me.

Run! Relationships are too much hassle.

Qusetion: 30 of 30

How would you describe your face?

Classically beautiful. Like a Greek sculpture.

Good looking.

Symmetrical.

Plain.

End Quiz & See Results

Mike Heath

Mike has an MA in Creative Writing and is a full-time copywriter, yoga teacher, and playwright. His copywriting has taken him to dizzy heights: writing in every conceivable niche from facts about carpet slippers to portents about artificial intelligence and how to overcome plantar fasciitis (look it up) to fabulous home decor. Mike is a UK-based playwright whose work has been performed all around the world (as long as you count the UK and Western Australia). His work is available on Amazon, and you can listen to his podcast where he talks about playwriting with his sarcastic co-presenter. He runs the WriteForTheStage courses and you can follow him on @Write4TheStage (Twitter) and @_mike_heath_ on Instagram.